Is that

It was nearing the end of the year. The children were hot and tired. One boy came up to my desk and said, "It's ok if you don't like my writing today."

I looked down at his paper and saw that he had barely written anything. I said, "Honey, you should never be happy with medeocre."

His eyebrows came together and he asked, "Is that the pudding old people eat?"

That way

At Kindergarten orientation night I noticed one little boy dancing and holding himself. I walked him to the bathroom and explained, "The first one is for girls, but this next one is the boy's bathroom."

He looked up at me and said, "I'm a boy because I have a penis."

I said, "Ok, then go in the boy's room."

He continued on in a confidential manner, "My mom doesn't know why. She said I was just born that way."

Life cycles

Yesterday a little girl in my class raised her hand and said, "I know the life cycle of a caterpillar."

I said, "That's wonderful! What is it?"

She said, "The egg turns into a caterpillar. The caterpillar becomes a raccoon. Then it turns into a butterfly."

I said, "Oh, honey, I think you mean cacoon."

She stuck a hand on one hip and set me straight, "My mother said raccoon."

Thank you

When we returned to our classroom after helping the first graders, one of my students raised his hand and said, "Thank you for giving me a new friend today."

I got all misty when he said it...so did the first grade teacher when I brought him over so he could share his comment with her.

How am I doing?

When we heard that first grade wanted to write letters to the Leprechaun my class offered to buddy up with them to share what we knew about Leprechauns. I explained to my students that they were there to help the first graders.

After about fifteen minutes one of my boys raised his hand, "This is the first time I've been a teacher. How am I doing?"

Leprechauns

The week before St. Patrick's Day, my class wrote letters to the Leprechaun and asked him to visit our classroom. We made "traps" that looked like green presents in hope that one of us would catch him and get his gold.

One little boy must have had a flashback to our Gingerbread man adventure because he asked, "If we catch him, we aren't going to eat him, are we?"

Teacher hugs

I stand at my door in the morning and greet each student as they enter. Many of them give me a hug as they enter the class. Students I had in my class years ago sometimes come by and start their day with quick hug.

Last year a first year teacher came over to my door and said - You certainly hug everyone.

I thought she was referring to the new "don't touch anyone" rules in the schools. - I don't ask any of them to hug me. I'm just not about to tell them they cannot hug me.

She seemed to think about this. - I've never seen anyone hug so many people.

Now I was feeling a bit defensive. - Does it bother you?

She sighed sadly, - No, some days I wish I could get in line.


The first year is tramatic for many. I hugged her.

Never underestimate the impact of being a caring person first and a teacher second.

bucket

On Dr. Seuss's birthday my class ate green eggs and ham. While we were eating we were rhyming.

A student asked me, "Would you, could you with a goat?"
I said, "I would, I could in a boat."
A little boy said, "Would you, could you in a bucket?"
I said, "I'm not sure I know a word that rhymes with bucket."
He thought about it and said, "Fuck it! Fuck it rhymes with bucket."
I bit my lip.
A little hand touched my sleeve. I looked down and another little boy offered, "Do you want me to tell him that it's a bad word?"

How do you do it?

At my school we are still allowed to dress up for Halloween. Last year, I dressed up as the Tooth Fairy. The children in the classroom next door had a difficult time understanding that the it was just a costume.

A few weeks after Halloween a little girl from the other class came up to me in the hallway - How do you do it?

Teacher - How do I do what?

Little girl - How do you get in everybody's house?

Teacher - Sweetie, what are you talking about?

Little girl - Santa has a sleigh. Do you fly?

Teacher - Oh, you mean, as the Tooth Fairy?

Little girl - I know you're the Tooth Fairy, but how do you get to everybody's house in one night? How do you know who lost their teeth?

Teacher laughes - When you grow up, you might want to be a reporter. (Leaning down to tell the child confindentially). I am not actually the Tooth Fairy. I just wore that costume for Halloween.

A second girl joined the first and they moved a foot away from me as if I could not hear them.

Second little girl - How does she do it?

First little girl - She wouldn't tell me.

You don't?

Little boy - You weren't here yesterday.
Teacher - No, I was sick. I stayed home.
Little boy looks confused - You don't live here?

Compliments

A little boy was writing a list of what he likes.

I like dogs.
I like Mrs. Robidoux (our classroom assistant.)


He gave the list to my assistant.

She laughed - I think that's a compliment.

He considered her response for a moment - I almost put you first, but I really like dogs.

Effective but outdated strategies

In my class we have peer tutoring. I encourage the students who have mastered a skill to work with those who are still struggling with it.

One little girl picked up a ruler and smacked the little boy she was tutoring. I ran over there.

Teacher - Honey, you cannot smack your "student".
Little girl puffed up with indignation - My mom says her teachers used to hit her with a ruler to get her to listen.
Teacher shakes her head - Teachers don't hit students anymore.
Little girl - But it works!

Oh, yes!

Little girl - If I were the teacher I would let the kids play all day.
Teacher - Do you think they would learn as much?
Little girl - It's ok if they don't learn this stuff.
Teacher - When you gave your students to the first grade teacher, she would ask you why they did not know how to read and write.
Little girl - They ask you that?
Teacher - Oh, yes! I have to make sure everyone can read for their first grade teacher.
Little girl hugs teacher - That can't be easy.

Love notes

I was at my desk writing down the lunch order when one student approached my desk and slipped me a note. He whispered - Don't show your husband.

Scribbled inside it read - Mrs. Cardello. I love you. You are cute.

He said

During a tour of the local police station my students were shown the confinement cells. Four at a time they were allowed to go in, sit on the bed and look around. An adult went in with each group to make sure they did not touch anything. The young officer who was giving the tour was not our usual guide.

Ther officer was describing the cells as the children looked around inside - There is a bed inside each if someone wants to sleep while they are here. Each cell also has a toilet if you need to pee.

I was gathering up the next group when the officer sounded a little distressed - Someone is peeing in there! One of them is peeing right now!

I rushed over with a male parent chaperone at my side. He said - Who would be peeing in there?

In the middle of the cell, his son stood with his pants around his ankles. I rushed over and pulled up the boy's pants.

The little boy looked up at me in sincere confusion, "He said to pee."

His father could not stop laughing. The officer could not stop laughing.

The other children did not understand the joke. A fellow classmate came to my side to offer support for his friend, "He DID say to pee. I heard him."

I'm sure that is one officer who will choose his words carefully next time.

Just when you think they get it...

My class has been working on graphing all sorts of information for weeks. We would vote on our favortie cereals, tv shows, games. Each time we took a poll, we would convert the information into a graph. I felt confident that they all understood the idea that information could be shown in this form.

Teacher: Using a picture I would like you to show me the following information. I asked my class what they liked better....hamburgers or ice cream. Fifteen said they liked hamburgers better. Ten said they liked ice cream better. How could you show me this in a picture?

Little girl raised her hand confidently: You want us to giraffe it?

This is

I had a little boy in my class one year who had a difficult time following directions. Our class went to the local Children's Museum. He was not staying with the group so I called him over and sentenced him to the ultimate punishment of holding my hand instead of climbing on the displays.

We had gone through several rooms when he looked up at me adoringly and said, "This is just like a date, isn't it?"

I let go of his hand.

Will the real Juan stand up?

On the first day of school I was placing name tags on my new students. My assistant was doing the same thing on the other side of the room.

Teacher - What is your name?
Little boy does not answer.
Teacher - Is your name Juan?
Little boy - Yes.

Next little boy - What is your name?
Little boy - Juan.
Teacher looks at list and says - I only have one Juan on my list.

Assistant calls across the room - I have a Juan over here.

Teacher gathers all of the alleged Juans together at one table and asks the first little boy what his name is.
Little boy - My name is Juan.
Second little boy says - My name isn't Juan. I thought you said John.
Teacher looks at the third little boy - What did you think I said?
Little boy answers - I thought you were talking about lunch.

Angels

One of the boys in my classroom was medically very fragile. He was in and out of the hospital for most of the year. I tested him on his letters and he did not know them in November. He was gone for most of December and January. When he returned I tested him again and he knew all but two of his letters and the sounds that they made.

Teacher - Wow, have you been studying?
Little boy - At the hospital an angel comes to see me every night when I'm sleeping. She helps me with my letters.


I spoke with the boy's mother that afternoon. I thought that the hospital must have a tutor who was coming in at night to help him. The mother said that she did not think anyone went to see him at night.

Teacher to little boy - Does this angel ever visit you when you're at your house?
Little boy - Yes, she helps me study when I'm sleeping.
Teacher thinks about this before responding - Ok, well, tell her you have to learn your numbers now.

Under there

I was out sick one day and a nun was the substitute in my classroom. While she was reading the children a story, one of the boys scooted forward and went under her long habit. When I returned to school and read the scathing note I called the boy over to my desk.

Teacher - I have a note that says you crawled under the teacher's dress yesterday.
Little boy - She wasn't a teacher.
Teacher - What was she?
Little boy - She was like that thing you put on a Christmas tree, but all in black.
Teacher - That does not explain why you looked up her dress.
As if it were clear to everyone but the teacher, he replied - Sometimes angels don't have legs.